If walls could talk, what would yours say about how date-able you are?
Once upon a time, mine would have said ‘not at all’. I would meet men all the time, but the ones I was interested in never asked me out. And the ones that did ask me out, rarely asked me for date #2.
I knew I was a ‘good catch’, but I also knew that I was doing something wrong when it came to finding love. I read books on love, dating, and men & women. I worked with coaches to ‘fix’ myself and help me be more ‘worthy’ of the love I was looking for. I worked out. I lost weight. I bought new clothes. I did everything I could think of to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex.
Eventually I did the one thing I hadn’t done. I began to shift the energy I was sending out to the world. (and to all the men in it, apparently) And I started by shifting the energy I was living with.
I had just moved to a new home and had that wonderful new-ness of all the possibilities that might be in this new space. I was excited to make this new home mine. I just needed the vision of what I wanted my space to say about me and who I am, as well as, who I wanted to be.
This turned out to be the key factor. Who I WANTED to be.
By designing my space with intention I could create the space that would inspire me to be the woman I wanted to be. Everyday. Every time I was in my space. So I asked myself, who do I want to be?
First, I wanted to feel feminine. Like most women, I operated from masculine pretty much all the time. Not only was it exhausting but I really hated myself most of the time and felt like I lived under constant pressure to do and be more. I was never good enough.
On top of that, opposites attract, masculine men want, you guessed it, feminine women. So I started with, ‘what makes me feel feminine?’ and as I came up with answers I began to add those things to my life and to my space. New drapes, extra long so they puddled on the floor just a bit. New bedding, in my favorite color with (gasp) embroidered flowers along the bottom of the comforter. This was my most difficult purchase since it felt soooooo girly and frilly to have those flowers, but I was also so secretly in love with how feminine it felt.
This turned out to be a repeat pattern while I went through my space adding touches that inspired me to feel the qualities I most wanted to embody. I really struggled, especially at first, with bringing those things into my home. I tried to justify not doing it, telling myself it (whatever the ‘it’ happened to be) was too expensive or I didn’t need it. And I had to keep reminding myself that I was worth it. I deserved the best I could give myself and I was going to give myself that gift to prove to myself I was worth it.
Second, I wanted to feel loved and lovable. This actually went really well with wanting to feel feminine so I wanted to add the sense of luxury I felt when I was in a spa. Or at least how I imagined it felt from what I saw in the movies and I let that inspire how I added loved and lovable to my space. I added lots of textures. Rugs and pillows, the previously mentioned drapes and comforter. As well as a fluffy bathrobe, aromatherapy, candles and some beautiful art that to me reminded me of how it felt to be in love.
The rest of how I wanted to feel and be, playful, confident, and grounded, I added into different areas with fresh flowers, plants, crystals, candles, art and more. And then I would be mindful of how I wanted to be and when I wanted to be those qualities and let myself be inspired to be those things.
So, who do you want to be? Feminine, flirty, fun, playful, romantic, sexy, graceful, charming…..all of the above? And how can you create an environment that embodies those things in order for you to feel and embody those things?
Ask yourself who you want to be and listen to the answers. Then ask, what specifically makes you feel the way you want to be? And give your space a makeover that allows you to feel like the woman you are becoming and living the life you want to be living.
